Nostalgiais one of the most wonderful things in this lifetime. It resides in our hearts, makes us feel various emotions, gives us strength and a reason to hope for a brand new day. As for me, reminiscing is but an everyday companion. It soothes my weary spirit, renews my emotional strength, declutters my mind, and makes me believe that at the end of every dark tunnel there would always be a speck of light that beacons hope.
I love those random memories that make me smile; No matter what’s going on in my life right now.
Too much of an introduction. This is in response to a monthly blogging event hosted by a gorgeous blogger Basant She of The Socially Anxious Extrovert called #mymonthlymemories.It’s never late to join us, though. For details, kindly click here. I am really fond of writing something about my life’s experiences that’s worth remembering. So, whatever happens, as long as God is letting me breathe, I will continue doing this as long as my hands can write.
A for April. How would I put this? Well, this month is quite productive in a way. I’ve been working on a transcription job, earning a not so decent income but at least it adds extra bucks and creates a diversion from the usual household thingy. I am even planning to learn more about this field and maybe, maybe in the near future, I could do it full time to earn more while staying at home taking care of my children at the same time. I must admit, I’ve written too few articles this month, and too few followers, even comments for my posts. And I feel sad about it but reminded myself that I could always strike back. That there would always be this one chance, this once in a blue moon opportunity to shine, and when it does? I’d grab it and seize it as if my whole life depends on it. So what would we expect this May? More articles, I suppose. Substantial, more in-depth posts, more tweaks to keep you entertained.
Thank you all, for keeping up with my blog. For those times spared to at least stare, hit like, more with leaving a comment and also for the follows. These things never fail to put a smile on my face and create a glow in my eyes. May God Almighty bless us all!
This quote never fails to remind me of how things could be so extreme at times – be it good or bad. And today, things have gone from bad to worst. Truly, I am being tried on how I would deal with this blow. Until now, I am still trying to convince myself that I am just dreaming, that history would not repeat itself. If you’re following this blog for quite some time now, you may already read one of my posts entitled ‘Sudden Twist‘ where I shared a story about how a pet could touch someone’s heart.
After what happened that time, I’ve been hesitant to get another puppy but since my children’s really fond of having a pet in the house, we bought ‘Maxie‘ (our second Chihuahua puppy) last December 10, 2016. She was one half month old then. Everything seems fine, she’s an adorable and energetic puppy and is fun to feed. Even giving her a bath is an easy task not to mention taking her outside for a walk in the morning. Then yesterday, we noticed that she’s not in her usual self, she seems so aloof and doesn’t want to eat. And her stool is watery. I took her to the vet this morning and have been diagnosed with Parvovirus – the same exact illness that struck our first puppy. I am truly broke – emotionally and financially. As of to date, she’d been given an antibiotic through IV and been confined in the clinic. According to the vet, there’s a fifty-fifty chance of survival so we’re still hoping she could make it.
I can’t help but wonder if this is just a coincidence or one of fate’s cruelty. When you are a stay at home mother of four children who rely upon just enough remittance abroad from your partner and is always struggling to make both ends meet, it is really tough to deal with this kind of situation. Honestly, I am caught in a dilemma at the last minute of taking our puppy to the vet. I even asked myself if it is worth the risk? I do understand the cost and it would really leave my wallet empty, however, I cannot just let the puppy die without giving it a chance. And besides, I don’t want to see it die in my arms just like our first puppy, so with closed eyes I did gave it a go. God’s willing, it will survive and worst come to worst, at least I won’t have any regrets.
While writing this post, I just received a call from the veterinary clinic saying that the puppy didn’t make it. I was shocked, it took me a minute or two to respond. Maybe it’s not yet time for us to have a long-term pet. Another heartbreak, I’d let it be for now. This too shall pass. I just pacify myself that even though she’s gone, all the fun memories we had with her would remain immortal.
Truth be told, I already forgot what life felt like before he came along. How could I? I’ve found someone who wants to learn every aspect of who I am. For the first few months of being together, he never fail to make me feel important. Just being with him is happiness. Seeing him smile is more than a pleasure. And I knew that he’s the one I would want to share my all until I breath my last. This faith kept me holding on and made me believe that true love knows no boundaries, and it measures no time nor space.
But recently, I’ve found myself questioning my so-called faith. And in the wee hours of the night, when the whole world is fast asleep, I lay in my bed, tossing and turning. Thinking of any reason why a love that seems so strong and true is actually full of lies and deceit. I’m in denial stage.
The quote above summarizes it all. There are things in this life that is beyond our control. That sometimes, letting go doesn’t always mean we give up or we are weak. I am learning to accept what happened in the past and is now trying to put back the pieces of my trampled self and begin anew.
How about you? How are you dealing with failures? I would be delighted to read your comments. May God bless us all!
I am a sentimental fool and I am not ashamed to admit it. For me, it is an honesty that is raw but true. Emotional attachment to people or things is the blood that runs through my veins. It is what keeps my sanity amidst adversities. It is the force that drives me to be better everyday. It is the very reason why I chose to be more human.
Some may think that being sentimental is not only foolish but also a waste of time. I understand them but I disagree. I know that a sentimental person is strongly influenced by emotions than by reason. But it doesn’t mean that we can’t be rational. How could someone who has the ability to empathize and forgive others easily be irrational? That, I would never understand.
Sentimental is dealing with feelings of tenderness, sadness or nostalgia, typically in an exaggerated and self-indulgent way.
In all my life, I have never force someone to like or love me. I have never exerted any effort for others to accept me. Pretending is not my cup of tea. I want people to know me truly, to take me just as I am. If you reject me, I cannot do anything about it. I never chase people because I believe that if they belong to my life they will stay. It is a chance I willingly take as a sentimental fool and for me, it is freedom and it’s what makes me happy.