Weekly Quotes To Ponder 32

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Have you ever been away with your family? When you’re used to spend your every day life with someone, do things with that person in a regular basis or he/she’s part of your daily routine, it’s not that easy to adjust or do stuffs without him/her  around anymore. It takes a lot of getting  used to and sometimes you’d even ask yourself if  it is real, the longing seems unbearable that at the back of your mind you’re convincing yourself that everything’s just a dream and all you need to do is wake up.

After living together for more than twelve years, my partner decided to work overseas to give us a better life and to prepare for our children’s future. It’s been about more than three years now and yet, I’m still struggling. I don’t think I can even get used to living without his physical presence especially when I’m seeing our children. Good thing he never fail to check on us on Facebook and he calls us regularly via Skype. It makes our distance closer and the longing quite bearable (still trying to convince myself here).

 

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If we can afford to live a better life and prepare a bright future for our children without him going abroad and be away from us here in our own homeland, I’m pretty sure he’d prefer to stay beside me and raise our children together. I must say that he’s a lot more hands on with caring to our children than I am. He never fail to show how thoughtful and sweet he could be. Here’s hoping he’d bear in his mind that whenever he felt too worn out, he could always turn to us for moral support.

 

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That’s it for our ‘Weekly Quotes To Ponder’ feature. May God bless us all!

Monday Morning Melts: Your Choice

Monday Morning Melts is  here again! I’m glad I can catch up. I feel sorry not to be able to partake last week. Anyhow, today’s ‘Song Prompt’ would be Jason Mraz – In Your Hands. This is actually the first time that I’ve heard this song and I could say that the lyrics is great and it’s beat is soothing to the ear. Perfect for moments of silence and meditating.

Here’s my take, hope you’ll like it:

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Never would I deceive myself
Though my love for you can’t be helped
Can’t afford to live a lie
Faking others that you are mine
I could give you all I have
Everything, so don’t ever doubt
But know you can still be free
If you don’t want to stay you can flee
Keep me ’cause you love me
Reasons other than that, won’t suffice…

Monday Morning Melts: SERENDIPITY

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I’ve never felt this way before
A smile that makes my heart explode
Stare that touches my very soul
Kisses that takes me to places unexplored

A total stranger
Swept me off my very feet
Caught me off guard
Never thought I’d fall so hard

That burning desire
I couldn’t quench in all my might
Ever since that starry night
Thoughts of you never left my sight

Oh helpless me!
And yet I’ve never felt this happy
Take me now, all of me
You and I were meant to be!

This is in response to Monday Morning Melts hosted by Jade and Rosema. The first song lyrics  prompt is actually one of my favorites – If You’re Not The one by Daniel Bedingfield. Hopefully my poem says it all!

 

3Line Tales 33: Destiny

A once in a lifetime climb
With your hands holding mine
Atop this tower our fates entertwined.

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photo by: William Bout

Here’s my take for this week’s Three Line Tales. Come and join us and enjoy reading and writing a brief tale out of an amazing photo prompt. For instructions, kindly click here.

Under Spell

yathoriRidiculous it may sound
I must admit it’s profound
But whenever I’m down
When I’m wearing a frown
Or alone in a town
You act more than a clown
Bring my feet on the ground
You are one of a kind
I don’t mind if I’m blind
As long as you’re by my side
With our love I take pride
It’s worth all of the ride!

Weekly Quotes To Ponder 28

acceptance

Truth be told, I already forgot what life felt like before he came along. How could I? I’ve found someone who wants to learn every aspect of who I am. For the first few months of being together, he never fail to make me feel important. Just being with him is happiness. Seeing him smile is more than a pleasure. And I knew that he’s the one I would want to share my all until I breath my last. This faith kept me holding on and made me believe that true love knows no boundaries, and it measures no time nor space.

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But recently, I’ve found myself questioning my so-called faith. And in the wee hours of the night, when the whole world is fast asleep, I lay in my bed, tossing and turning. Thinking of any reason why a love that seems so strong and true is actually full of lies and deceit. I’m in denial stage.

The quote above summarizes it all. There are things in this life that is beyond our control. That sometimes, letting go doesn’t always mean we give up or we are weak. I am learning to accept what happened in the past and is now trying to put back the pieces of my trampled self and begin anew.

How about you? How are you dealing with failures? I would be delighted to read your comments. May God bless us all!

A Once Beautiful Dream

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He’s ten years older than me. Too many experiences in life that made him who he is today. I more than admire his wits. Truly, those hardships that he’s been through during his younger years shaped his character well. No wonder he’s a great conversationalist. There’s no dull moment with him. We can talk about anything under the sun and I won’t be bone-tired, I find pleasure just by listening to him attentively.

Having a deep conversation with someone who has
a brilliant mind and a beautiful soul is a new way of making love.

I am mesmerized by his past adventures. Though they’re not good stuff, at least he’s able to break through its walls and free himself from self-destruction. I did my best to know the things that caught his interests so I can relate with him when we talk. I love the way he opens his mouth, the genuine smile on his face whenever he brags about something and the glow in his eyes.

Now, you already have an idea of why I fell for him. He’s good-looking alright, that’s a plus. Not only that, seventy-five percent of my life’s first times have been shared with him. Not to mention he fathered my precious possessions – my children.

He always sounds like a dictator to me. He’d always want everything done his own way. I know he’s right most of the time but can’t I have the freedom to do other things on my own? I knew I have too few good results with what I’m doing but at least I don’t screw things deliberately. 

He’s a thousand miles away. Though he’s physically absent, thoughts of him linger in my mind. Unfortunately, things are not always what they seem. He drifted away. His heart went astray. Our relationship nowadays is no longer built on love but memories and obligations. I tried to bring back the way we were but to no avail. I’m way past crying and even if I try, there are no more tears to shed. I’m left with a once beautiful dream that turned into a nightmare. I don’t want to let him go but I cannot do anything. People are going to do what they want to do when they want to do it. This is a fact, and I accepted it. I won’t force him to love me again. Surely I can wait, for how long, I don’t know. As long as I love him, maybe? With his cold treatments, I am beginning to lose hope. Chances of us getting back together is getting bleak each passing days, I’m afraid.

 

I may regret the things I did in anger, but never the things I did in love.

 

The Best Is Yet To Come

I have never felt this exhausted. My energy have been drained from my body and I am more than immobile. My mind and my heart, drenched with pain, doubts and fear, they’re not functioning well. I can’t feel anything anymore. Just a sense of nothing. Ninety nine percent of my being wanted to go to oblivion. All I know now is I am floating in air. No heaviness. Chaos…

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So this is how it feels to fall out of love for someone or something. You don’t give a damn. You don’t care what will happen next. You lost all the reasons to hold on, the reason to fight. You lost sense of direction. This is not good. This is not bad either. I think this is a dangerous combination. Perhaps, one of the most challenging and difficult test in this life.

How can I survive when my only reason for survival has long been gone? Here I am again, wanted to sound funny when in fact everything at this moment seems ridiculous.

Maybe some girls are not meant to be tamed.
Maybe they are supposed to run wild…
Until they find someone just as wild to run with

All my life, all I ever wanted was to love and to be loved. I never wanted fame or fortune. I am not a materialistic type. I can be happy with small things. I am not hard to please. I must admit I can be upset so easily, I am an impulsive type. I can just burst into tears or laugh at the top of my lungs. I can be as mad as hell and could swallow a whole person but I can forgive people easily and forget everything in one sitting. I know at times, I am not easy to understand but all of us do. Wouldn’t you agree?

I would love to go to a place where I could clear my mind and release all the burdens I have in my heart. Be at peace. But there are times when the more we ache for that to happen the more it becomes elusive. And the more it hurts, the more it becomes intolerable.

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I’d let things be for now. I am heartbroken, lonely, hurt, lost, and weak.  I’ll just let them celebrate their victory and laugh at my defeat. I need to gather every strength left in me. I need to buy more time. As long as God is still letting me breath, as long as I see the sunrise in the velvet sky, I know that the best is yet to come…

Find a heart that will love you
at your worst
and
arms that will hold you at
your weakest.

 

TANKA 8: VISION

Sands of time be mine
Leaves that falls one by one
Autumn of my wrecked heart
Revealing yet another art
A promising chapter yet to start

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Here’s my take for this week’s TANKA poetry challenge. If you’d like to check how this wonderful activity goes, kindly click here. This weekly event is hosted by my friend blogger, Kiwinana of Ramblings of a Writer. Have a wonderful day everyone!

 

Sudden Twist

I once disclosed that I am not fond of pets and the only reason we have cats and a dog in the house is because of my children. Until now, it still holds true. However, something unexpected happened today. I never had a slightest thought, never ever dreamed of it. What transpired undeniably turned my world spinning and changed my perception of having pets forever.

 

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Sentimental fools are prone to emotional attachment so to speak. Maybe that’s the main reason I preferred not to have any pets. I must admit, I fear emotional attachment just as I fear it with someone I knew would leave me eventually. I cannot bear to see myself losing someone so dear. For me, it would be more than torture to face detachment.

My eyes is still swollen for I’ve cried the whole day. Seeing my son’s pet, Waffle (a Chihuahua) vomiting and excreting a bloody stool broke my heart into tiny pieces. Alarmed, I rushed the puppy in the nearby Veterinary Clinic. Suspected of Parvovirus the vet immediately administered antibiotics and an IV fluid for the puppy is almost dehydrated. He dispatched us with a prescription and taught me how to treat it at home. In about an hour after we arrived, there’s no sign that the medicine that has been given is taking into effect. The most horrifying part is seeing it gasping for breath as its life slowly extinguished. At that very moment, I am talking to the puppy as if I am talking to a real person. In the midst of every sob, asking it to fight for its life.

Mixed emotions enveloped me as I saw the puppy lying in rigor mortis – pain, regret, longing. It took me couple of minutes to think straight on what to do next. I decided not to wait for my first born son to arrive from school to bury his pet, I want him to remember Waffle as a playful and sweet companion not a sick and dead animal.

compassion

I felt these emotions before – when my father died. I never thought I would feel the same with just a pet. It’s hard for me to accept this fact. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned from this experience, it is what we call, compassion. This heart of mine, it may be too small in size but it can touch and hold so much. I am still heart broken, so is my son upon learning about what happened to his pet. It may take days to recuperate from the loss, but we’re not rushing things here. In time, it will come to pass but for now we’ll just let this feelings be. Cheers!