Weekly Quotes To Ponder 51

It’s time for our 51st Weekly Quotes To Ponder moment. I am officially out of a toxic relationship for about six months now but the feelings of being neglected, cheated and battered were longer that I don’t even want to recall when it all started. It is still haunting me at times. Truly, unrequited love is a vicious killer. Before you know it, it consumed your whole being already. Worst of all, it will leave an ugly scar, a huge hole that nobody could heal, nobody could fill. And yet, life goes on…

43952573_360512001158011_8194729697335050240_n
quoted from Michael Connelly‘s novel – The Scarecrow

 

In my desperate move to keep my momentum on this new found freedom, I tried an online dating site called¬†FilipinoCupid.com. Being a home-based online worker, I am aware that there’s a big possibility that I might be inviting ferocious wolves the chance to devour me. As I chatted to a few men, I am not mistaken by my suspicion. Almost all of them want to jump right into sex like it is something that might disappear in a blink of an eye. They demand sexy photos and a few of them even asked for nudity or worse, video sex. I am new to these things and my first reaction is I want to puke. My stomach was in knots, my breathing coming shallow. I even had 6 cups of coffee compared to my usual 2-3 cups a day (coffee never frays my nerves, by the way, on the contrary, it soothes them). To make the long story short, I can’t handle it so I decided to give up and deactivated my account.

Truth be told, I still long for intoxication.¬† That inexplicable feeling, the highs of being touched by another soul. And hell, patience is one of my pet peeves. I’m dying to have a romantic partner. I am just like most people, I am just so eager to give and to have my tender passion reciprocated. It really sounds so simple, so easy, so right and yet so rare, almost elusive.

What are your thoughts on the quote above? Do you believe in that Single-Bullet Theory? At one point in my life, I thought I already found mine but judging from what happened to my previous relationship (father of my children) I have doubts now. Maybe someday, somehow, mine is still out there. Hopefully, we’ll find each other soon. It would be the best moment, I’m sure.