In a mother’s heart
there grows a seed
of love that never dies.
& through that love
she gives her children
wings on which to rise
I used to be a free spirited person. I guess I still am, in some way. I have never known or have never been constrained by convention. Issues about life, problems and difficulties never bothered me back then. I always do the things that I think would make me happy. I’ve enjoyed my freedom a lot and I always decide on my own.
I am a risk-taker. I prefer to experience things first hand to realize its implications rather than listen and heed to the warnings of others. I tend to conceal my weakness by showing others how tough I can be when faced with life’s cruelties. Too few people knew how vulnerable I am. I created this facade to protect myself and to survive. I did survived. Then I thought life could be as simple as staying up all night, reading books or writing poems while looking at the bright night sky.
I am consumed by the world I created that when reality struck me, I am more than shocked. Something woke me up from my empty sleep. Someone taught me that there are far more important things to do in this life other than thinking of my own happiness, my own welfare.
I still have my childish ways. Though I am already in my mid thirties, I still couldn’t convince myself that I am matured enough. I don’t even know the exact basis of maturity, to be honest. I never knew I could be capable of loving others unconditionally until I have my children. I’ve learned how to love without expecting anything in return. Seeing them living a good life, and hearing their laughter is more than enough antidote for stress. I couldn’t thank God enough for blessing me and entrusting me with these amazing creatures. Having them taught me to be considerate to others. That whatever decision I will make would greatly affect the people around me especially my loved ones.
I cannot be a perfect mother no matter how hard I try but one thing is for sure, I would do anything for my children’s sake even if it would cost me my own happiness.