A Once Beautiful Dream

dee

He’s ten years older than me. Too many experiences in life that made him who he is today. I more than admire his wits. Truly, those hardships that he’s been through during his younger years shaped his character well. No wonder he’s a great conversationalist. There’s no dull moment with him. We can talk about anything under the sun and I won’t be bone-tired, I find pleasure just by listening to him attentively.

Having a deep conversation with someone who has
a brilliant mind and a beautiful soul is a new way of making love.

I am mesmerized by his past adventures. Though they’re not good stuff, at least he’s able to break through its walls and free himself from self-destruction. I did my best to know the things that caught his interests so I can relate with him when we talk. I love the way he opens his mouth, the genuine smile on his face whenever he brags about something and the glow in his eyes.

Now, you already have an idea of why I fell for him. He’s good-looking alright, that’s a plus. Not only that, seventy-five percent of my life’s first times have been shared with him. Not to mention he fathered my precious possessions – my children.

He always sounds like a dictator to me. He’d always want everything done his own way. I know he’s right most of the time but can’t I have the freedom to do other things on my own? I knew I have too few good results with what I’m doing but at least I don’t screw things deliberately. 

He’s a thousand miles away. Though he’s physically absent, thoughts of him linger in my mind. Unfortunately, things are not always what they seem. He drifted away. His heart went astray. Our relationship nowadays is no longer built on love but memories and obligations. I tried to bring back the way we were but to no avail. I’m way past crying and even if I try, there are no more tears to shed. I’m left with a once beautiful dream that turned into a nightmare. I don’t want to let him go but I cannot do anything. People are going to do what they want to do when they want to do it. This is a fact, and I accepted it. I won’t force him to love me again. Surely I can wait, for how long, I don’t know. As long as I love him, maybe? With his cold treatments, I am beginning to lose hope. Chances of us getting back together is getting bleak each passing days, I’m afraid.

 

I may regret the things I did in anger, but never the things I did in love.

 

Living In The Present

There are moments when I am more than eager to write down exactly what or how I feel but somehow, I can’t lift my fingers to type in my keyboard. My eyes, transfixed in front of my desktop, trying so hard to spill the words to release the heaviness in my chest. I would find myself staring in blank space for hours. It seems there are no appropriate words to describe the emotions that consume my whole being. I thought I cannot get out of that emotional roller coaster ride yesterday. Thank God it’s over! I’m back on my feet and ready to face this day.

 

today1

 

Today, I decided to do what I can, with what I have and what I know, where I am and that’s enough. 

Yes, you’ve read it right. This very present is my truth at the moment! I am now doing the laundry while cleaning the house and cooking our breakfast and lunch. I’m doing all these things with enthusiasm. I don’t want to lose my momentum. Every once in a while I am attending my hyperactive two-year-old son. I never enjoyed mommy duties other than having a bonding time with my adorable children.

 

yuyu

 

What I enjoyed the most is watching Anime series with them while eating. Yu Yu Hakusho is one of our favorites. I love everything about it – the plot, the characters, and the story as a whole. If you’d like to watch it, you can click here. If you’re into anime thing, I’m sure you’d enjoy it. Have a nice day to us all!

 

 

3Line Tales 31: Gentle

tltweek35.jpg
photo by: Rebecca Johnston

I may seem out of the pack
For my color’s gentle not black
Yet any intruder, I could kill in a snap!

Time for a dose of Three-lining! A wonderful way to stretch our mental muscles. This is another awesome photo prompt. You may want to join us, kindly click here for full instructions or visit Sonya‘s blog – Only 100 Words. Good vibes!

 

TANKA 10: Cheers

trees.jpg

It’s a sheer delight
To be filled with broad daylight
A glass of beer, sharing cheers
Happiness beyond compare
It’s summer time again!

Here’s my take for this week’s TANKA poetry challenge. For full instructions kindly click here or visit Ramblings of a Writer. I’m certain you’ll enjoy reading her blog. Good luck!

Weekly Quotes To Ponder 26

 

 

COUPLE

 

One of the greatest feelings one could ever feel in this world is to love and to be loved. A kind of love that is mutual and reciprocal. It takes two to tango, right?

But love is not always about feelings. As a matter of fact, it is a decision. You’ll know that you truly love someone when that person becomes difficult to deal with and yet you stayed. This reality is so harsh that others jump from one relationship to another. They kind of do trial and error to find the right one for them. I also did that before. But when you found a total stranger and you both clicked, then you can’t even pinpoint the things that you did love about him/her, you just feel secure and happy, then you just found the one.

Love is not always a bed of roses, sometimes you also have to lay on a bed of nails to know that it’s for real. – Meeh

What if the person who once loved you, doesn’t love you anymore? Would you still be willing to love that person whole-heartedly even if it hurts to see him/her slowly drifting away from you? Could you bear seeing him doing the things he did with you doing it with someone else now? Truly it’s hard to give without expecting anything in return especially when it comes to romantic love. But it happens. Unrequited love does exist.

 

okay

 

Well, I think it would be our own decision to still love someone who cannot love us in return. For me, it is one of the noblest and greatest sacrifices and it’s all worth it. We should always remember that it is better to give than to receive. To love others that don’t love us is an opportunity given by God. We’ll reap our rewards in His own time.

How about you? What are your thoughts on this? I would be delighted to read your comments. Have a wonderful week everyone!

 

 

Panic Mode

scared.gif

Enveloped with fear
Deep breath is all I can hear
I wanted to shout
Yet can’t open my mouth

Out of the blue
Silence ensue
As cold as a gun
This wouldn’t be fun

I turned around
There I have found
This fear I have made
Is a two-edged blade

Keep bleeding in tears
A sight I can’t bear
My feet glued in the ground
No way I could run

Tokens of Gratitude: Humility

2016-02-21 16.35.30-2

Hello there people! I’ve missed writing a ‘Tokens of Gratitude‘ post for a while and I feel so sorry about it. I really wanted to catch up and make up for the lost. So here I am.

I would always feel grateful for all the blessings that comes my way. Sometimes even the not so good things that’s happening in our lives are actually blessings in disguise. If you are a follower, you may notice that I’m going through rough times these past few months. I am caught up with so much pressure and stress – mentally and emotionally. But despite of it all, I am still thankful to God. With His help and mercy, I am learning to be more positive, resilient, and hopeful.

By the way, I would like to share this quote to you all, hopefully this would brighten your day and give you a moral booster.

realized

That’s it for now! Have a great weekend everyone!

 

A Captured Heart

lovely.jpgIn a mother’s heart
there grows a seed
of love that never dies.
& through that love
she gives her children
wings on which to rise

I used to be a free spirited person. I guess I still am, in some way. I have never known or have never been constrained by convention. Issues about life, problems and difficulties never bothered me back then. I always do the things that I think would make me happy. I’ve enjoyed my freedom a lot and I always decide on my own.

I am a risk-taker. I prefer to experience things first hand to realize its implications rather than listen and heed to the warnings of others. I tend to conceal my weakness by showing others how tough I can be when faced with life’s cruelties. Too few people knew how vulnerable I am. I created this facade to protect myself and to survive. I did survived. Then I thought life could be as simple as staying up all night, reading books or writing poems while looking at the bright night sky.

I am consumed by the world I created that when reality struck me, I am more than shocked. Something woke me up from my empty sleep. Someone taught me that there are far more important things to do in this life other than thinking of my own happiness, my own welfare.

children.jpgI still have my childish ways. Though I am already in my mid thirties, I still couldn’t convince myself that I am matured enough. I don’t even know the exact basis of maturity, to be honest. I never knew I could be capable of loving others unconditionally until I have my children. I’ve learned how to love without expecting anything in return. Seeing them living a good life, and hearing their laughter is more than enough antidote for stress. I couldn’t thank God enough for blessing me and entrusting me with these amazing creatures. Having them taught me to be considerate to others. That whatever decision I will make would greatly affect the people around me especially my loved ones.
I cannot be a perfect mother no matter how hard I try but one thing is for sure, I would do anything for my children’s sake even if it would cost me my own happiness.

 

TANKA 9: Survival

Kill or be killed
Which one would you prefer?
Games of life’s not for the weak
Fight like birds that have beak
Though your chances are bleak.

game Birds.jpg

I just can’t help but partake in this wonderful TANKA poetry challenge hosted by my friend blogger, Kiwinana of Ramblings of a Writer. You may want to stretch your mind and find delight in reading other’s entry. For instructions, kindly click here. I’d look forward to it, thank you in advance!

3Line Tales 30: Determined

Seeing my dream car
I couldn’t afford to miss
If I have to, I’d get it with iron fist!

tltweek34.jpg
photo by Wolf Schram

Cheers to another week of  Three-lining! I definitely love this fascinating photo prompt. Here’s my take, hopefully you’d enjoy reading as much as I enjoy writing. For a detailed instructions, kindly click here or visit Only 100 Words. Have  wonderful day to us all!