Tokens of Gratitude: Moving on

You must be familiar with American horror drama TV series ‘The Walking Dead’. I haven’t watched it, not yet. But the title itself speaks volume of how I lived my life at one point. I writhed in pain and agony as I watched my heart being slaughtered by this man’s vengeful spear. Consumed by wrath, he knows no mercy. Death scares me no more – I’ve died a million times ever since he drifted away from me.

 

A friend once asked me, ‘If God would grant you a wish, what would it be?’ I answered, ‘I wish I could undo the things that I did that torn his heart, for I know that that’s the only way for him to love me again.’ There would be an outpour of emotions every time I think about it these days.

I may feel upset with the way we ended
But I will never regret what we had.

I consider myself a realist. I’d always accept the things that I cannot change no matter how devastating and heart wrenching it may feel. But I must admit that at the deepest part of my being, there’s one thing I refuse to let go. That in spite of the truth slapped hard on my face, I still hope that we could be. Odd, isn’t it? Letting go and holding on is a tug of war I must face every single moment of my life. A collision of love and hate has always been a date.

free

Oftentimes, my brain is not functioning well. He’s everywhere I go. And all the things that I do reminds me of all the things that we’ve been through especially the good times. What so funny is, just like me, he also refuses to let me go and yet he’s playing fire with another soul. Making me pay for my mistakes for the rest of my life. Blaming me for all his unhappiness, for all difficulties. For years, I walked like a zombie. Living in the midst of people enjoying life and making the most of it. I have my man, he won’t leave me. I can wait forever, I always tell myself. I’ve waited, waited patiently and desperately. It took me more than a thousand years to wake up. Wake up from a beautiful dream that turned into a nightmare.

Letting go doesn’t mean giving up,
but rather accepting that there are
things that cannot be.

Now, I should face my greatest fear. I dreaded the day that I would lose him. I am so consumed with the thought of a miserable life without him by my side that I forgot to enjoy my life in the present. I know I cannot turn back time, I cannot undo things but I still have now and the day after. I allowed him to wander long enough. If he cannot love me anymore, I have to accept that and move on. It would be more than hard, more than painful but in time, I will be alright. I must refrain from walking dead and start living. I can’t thank God enough.  With his help and mercy, I am surviving. In time, I’d be wearing that genuine smile once again.

You’ll usually regret the things you do in anger,
but you’ll never regret the things you do in love.

 

3Line Tales 23: Unquenchable

Stares burning with desire
Touch as hot as fire
We’re uncontrollably wired

tltweek25
photo by: Dan Carlson

 

I won’t let this week pass without partaking with this great event. Three-lining always make my day. For full details, kindly click here or visit Only 100 Words.

Weekly Quotes To Ponder 23

I must admit, there are times I’m too stupid to beat myself for my failures and unhappiness. I tend to blame myself and make things hard and complicated. In addition to that, I also allow others to make me feel down or unworthy.

worthy

This past few days, I chose to be silent. I did not opened any of my social media accounts. I just allowed myself to unwind from social dramas and be myself and reflect. The quote above would be a constant reminder for me to love myself more, to always see my worth and to not allow others to belittle me or bring me down.

eyes

Living in a technology driven world, where most people prefer to live in a sophisticated facade to fit in, it’s hard to be a lone wolf. For me, showing others the real me is both a blessing and a curse. Blessings because it spares me a lot not to pretend to be someone else just to please others giving me the ability to know the people who truly take me just as I am and love me no matter what. Curse, because too many people became indifferent especially when I tell the truth even if it would hurt them. Well, it’s really tough to be a straight forward person without sounding brutal at times. I must admit that finding a word that won’t hurt that much is more than a struggle. But this is me, I cannot have it any other way. And I cannot afford to deceive myself. I thank God for those few people who’s keeping up with me as well as for people who’s trying their best to bring me down for they are making me strong and resilient. Cheers!

You To Me

I may not be very generous but I am also not greedy. I am more than willing to share what I have but not my man. Yes! I cannot and would not share my man. I am more than a jealous person when it comes to love. Once you became my man, nobody could touch your soul but me. No one could love you as much as I do. And I will never ever love someone the way I’ve loved you.

mine.jpg
I don’t care about your past. It doesn’t matter how many women you dated, how many of them you went in bed with, or how many children you have. I will take you just as you are – good side and bad side. You see, you don’t really have to pretend for me to love you. I love everything about you. Let me tell you that I love the way you smell after you’ve had an exercise and you perspired a lot! I love the way you fart. But most of all, I love the way you get mad at me especially when I see your eyes burning with hate, hearing you swear is music to my ears, and your silence though deafening is like a lullaby that reminds me of my frailty, of how much I need your touch.

 

respect

I love you for all that you are
All that you have been
And all you’re yet to be…

 

 

 

 

So, how could I let go of someone who caused me so much emotional turmoil and extreme dramas? How could I give up someone who makes me feel mixed emotions in one sitting. You’re the only man who can fight with me in the morning and still make love to me at night. You are my fire and ice, my day and night. At times, you unleash the devil in me and yet you never fail to see the best in me. Call me lunatic, I don’t care. Call me crazy in love, I won’t mind. The love like ours is hard to find.

 

I have someone who’d love me at my worst
and an arms who’d always hold me at my weakest,
What more could I ask for?

3Line Tale 22: Worthy

Your smile swept me like a gusting wind
Since I met you in this field of greens
The ride with you was worth until the end

 

tltweek24.jpg
photo by Emiel Molenaar

 

It’s Three-lining again! As usual I am so excited to partake and share my piece to fellow bloggers. I also enjoy reading their work. If you’d like to join us, kindly visit Only 100 Words. For full instructions, please click here. Good luck!

Weekly Quotes To Ponder 22

Gotcha! We’re on our 22nd week of this ‘Weekly Quotes To Ponder‘ feature. How time flies! It’s amazing how far we’ve come. It is such a wonderful mental exercise to ponder about a quote and share my thoughts about it. I also enjoy reading your thoughts and thankful for the time you spared to like and comment on my posts.

 

water

 

I’ve been silent for a while. Even with my blog, my followers may have noticed it. At times, we all need to be silent. For me, it is a great way to reflect and detoxify my soul. It is another weapon against cruelty. Based on experience, silence can be the most powerful scream.

Sometimes it’s best to stay QUIET.
Silence can speak volumes without ever saying a word.

Oftentimes, I chose not say a word especially with people who have closed minds and hearts. I’d rather not waste my saliva and overuse my vocal chords with someone who obviously don’t want to understand my point. Other people might think that I am defeated just because I didn’t say anything, I just let them. I know who I am, what I am capable of, and I don’t need to explain myself.

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How about you? Are you a tactless type? I am a straightforward type of person but I rarely open my mouth. Experience taught me when to speak, to whom I would speak my deepest thoughts, my worries, and my wildest dreams. I always respect other people’s silence just as I would have them respect mine. Have a great week everyone!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tokens of Gratitude: Present

today1I used to dwell in the past and had a habit of blaming myself for failures. I have cried a river. During those times, I am unaware that some hurts I feel were self-inflicted. I almost forgot that God gave me the ability to choose how to deal with my present moment.

I can’t predict the future,
I can’t change the past,
I just have the present moment,
I must treat it as my last! – quoted

It’s been raining here in our place for almost a week now. When it does, we just love to stay inside the house, watch movies, read books, play indoor games like scrabble and eat of course. It’s the time when me and my children bond a lot. We always enjoy cooking and eating. siomaiphoto

Thank GOD for today! This is another opportunity to do good to others, to be with my loved ones, and to make the most of every seconds of my life. May the Almighty bless us all!

 

My Monthly Memories: June

my-monthly-memories

Hello wonderful people of the internet! I almost miss writing My Monthly Memories post this month. This is actually a blogging event hosted by a pretty blogger, Basant she. You may want to check out her cool blog, Thoughts of a Socially Anxious Extrovert. I always  partake with this great event with enthusiasm. Keeping an archive of what transpired in the previous month would always be a part of a life of a sentimental fool.

good1I love those random memories
that makes me smile no matter what’s going on
in my life right now…

 

 

First, I would like to express my gratitude to all the people who are still keeping up with my blog despite of the fact that I only post two or three articles a week, mostly featured only. In my  country – Philippines, classes starts in June. That makes it a busy month for us especially for mothers like me who have three students and a 2 year old super hyper baby boy. Please forgive me people if sometimes I am unable to answer your comments. And always remember that I appreciate you all taking time to check my posts, your likes and comments as well. Seeing additional followers almost every week is awesome. I can say now that it’s not how often we write that makes a great blog. Truly, content is king and time is queen as some bloggers say.

fearBy the way, if you’re following this blog and reading my posts, you’ll notice that my approach now is in more personal level. I am now an open book. I am now talking to you as if we’ve known each other quite long – without wearing a mask. You may want to check my Weekly Quotes to Ponder posts 17th18th19th, and 20th. These are the highlights of this month. And if you still have time, the other articles too.

 

Alright, this is already a long post for me. This month like previous months is still great. I can’t believe that as of this writing I already have 226 followers, not bad for a half year old blog, right? I can’t thank God enough. Looking forward to another amazing month this July.