Tokens of Gratitude: Heartaches

Pretending is  not my cup of tea. Showing others that I’m fine and happy when I am not is one hell of a struggle. There were even times when my eyes cannot  disguise  what I really feel inside. But what can I do when the only choice I have is to  be strong, not only for myself but more for my children?

I have been neglected several times,  belittled, never appreciated, always blamed. Worst of  all, it came from someone so dear. I never thought this person would be a prisoner of my past mistakes. If I only knew that he is a resentment-filled brute,  I will never commit that  mistake in the first place. If  only I could turn  back time…

Pointing fingers, name calling…I  always try to get used to it but failed. I cannot swallow the cussing  no matter how hard I try. To hold my tears when it is about to flow, to remain standing when my  knees is turning into jelly, to keep my sanity in the midst of a crazy event, and to maintain my composure when all I want to do is shout at the top of my lungs  to let go of all the pain  is more than an ordeal.

I cannot thank God enough. I owe it to His loving-kindness, His help and mercy that I am still here wearing a smile in my  face in spite of the fact that I am wrecked inside. In Him I have high hopes and I believe that time is on my side.

Once again, the best is yet to come!