Posted in Life

Weekly Quotes To Ponder 51

It’s time for our 51st Weekly Quotes To Ponder moment. I am officially out of a toxic relationship for about six months now but the feelings of being neglected, cheated and battered were longer that I don’t even want to recall when it all started. It is still haunting me at times. Truly, unrequited love is a vicious killer. Before you know it, it consumed your whole being already. Worst of all, it will leave an ugly scar, a huge hole that nobody could heal, nobody could fill. And yet, life goes on…

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quoted from Michael Connelly‘s novel – The Scarecrow

 

In my desperate move to keep my momentum on this new found freedom, I tried an online dating site called FilipinoCupid.com. Being a home-based online worker, I am aware that there’s a big possibility that I might be inviting ferocious wolves the chance to devour me. As I chatted to a few men, I am not mistaken by my suspicion. Almost all of them want to jump right into sex like it is something that might disappear in a blink of an eye. They demand sexy photos and a few of them even asked for nudity or worse, video sex. I am new to these things and my first reaction is I want to puke. My stomach was in knots, my breathing coming shallow. I even had 6 cups of coffee compared to my usual 2-3 cups a day (coffee never frays my nerves, by the way, on the contrary, it soothes them). To make the long story short, I can’t handle it so I decided to give up and deactivated my account.

Truth be told, I still long for intoxication.  That inexplicable feeling, the highs of being touched by another soul. And hell, patience is one of my pet peeves. I’m dying to have a romantic partner. I am just like most people, I am just so eager to give and to have my tender passion reciprocated. It really sounds so simple, so easy, so right and yet so rare, almost elusive.

What are your thoughts on the quote above? Do you believe in that Single-Bullet Theory? At one point in my life, I thought I already found mine but judging from what happened to my previous relationship (father of my children) I have doubts now. Maybe someday, somehow, mine is still out there. Hopefully, we’ll find each other soon. It would be the best moment, I’m sure.

 

 

 

 

 

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Posted in Life

3Line Tales 54: Holding On

TLT55
photo by: Joey Nicotra

 

Tainted, trampled to the ground.
In the dungeon, reaching out,
Faint-hearted yet holding tight.

 

Here’s my take for this week’s Three Line Tale. Thank’s to Sonya of Only 100 Words for coming up with this brilliant blogging exercise. This photo prompts suits my mood these days – colorful, intriguing, and mysterious.

Want to dive in and have some fun? Click here for instructions. May we all have a wonderful day!

Posted in Life

TANKA 35: SERENITY

TANKA35
photo credit

 

Sunset brings peace and quiet.
Clears an erratic mind, declutters emotional debris
Weary soul, burdened heart.
A fascinating theme – myriad blinding colors,
Calmness in the air warms me inside.

 

I will never forget and I said to myself, I am going to do this Weekly TANKA poetry challenge hosted by my friend, KIWINANA of Ramblings of a Writer and I couldn’t be happier today!

I hope my take would bring positivity to everyone who might encounter my blog. To join this wonderful blogging activity, kindly click here.

Posted in Life

Weekly Quotes To Ponder 50

He used to tell me, I am an irresponsible mother and housekeeper because the house is oftentimes messy if not always. At times, the pile of clothes to be folded had been sitting on the sofa for three days, and the dishes would be waiting the whole day before I could even wash them. But what upsets him most is the fact that I don’t make notes let alone follow a timeline for the day to at least try to be as organized as possible. Sometimes I can’t help but wonder, maybe these things might be one of the reasons why his fondness of me have waned as the years gone by.

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I know, I am not a wife or even a mother material. I haven’t seen this coming when I was still single. Until now, I still find it hard to believe or convince myself that I am stuck to being a single mother. Single mother – yes! You’ve read it right. The father of my children decided to abandon us for his own good. I wonder how he’s able to sleep at night knowing that he strips off his children of their rights. I won’t deny that I badly needed financial support from him but I am more concerned about emotional support (I don’t care if he would buy this) like some kind of a father-children relationship. I don’t know if I am overreacting. I always try not to sensationalize or overthink, I understand that worrying won’t do me any good. And as far as I know (based on my own observation), my children seem not to give a damn or make a fuss about our present situation. Maybe because the change has been gradual. It all started from us living under the same roof but acting more like roommates rather than husband and wife. The memory of our arguments those days are so vivid I could always tell that the man acted like I am some kind of enemy to be annihilated rather than a partner to be given a chance to amend for a wrongdoing. He could deny this but that’s how he made me feel back then.

I would be lying if I say that I am completely free and happy without him in our lives but I could certainly and could even shout out to the world, that I am totally at peace these days. The emotional burden that I’ve carried for years when I was with him, the psychological torture that rendered me immobile has been lifted as soon as he decided to let go of me. I can’t thank God enough.

Reversible
quotedReversible Error by Scott Turow

I used to believe that he is my compass. That if I lose him, I would lose my sense of direction, my reason for living. When I think about it these days, I am having mixed emotions. I might have been a fool or something but I know and I strongly believe that I had been in love. People say that love is blind, it’s not. It’s the lovers, not the love. Love is uncaring in a way that there are no requirements or standards, wouldn’t you agree? I guess people are just hopeful searchers, eager to give, eager to have their tender passion reciprocated. They just wanted to love and be loved in return. This sounds so simple. So right. But so melancholic in its purest form because of its rarity.

That’s it for our 50th Weekly Quotes To Ponder. What are your thoughts about the quote from the novel? Have you experienced that feeling at one point in your life? The longing, the unnamed desire? I’d be glad to read your comments.

 

Posted in Life

3Line Tales 53: Battered

TLT54

 

Devoid of trust,
Treated like a trash
Exit if you must!

 

Cheers to another week of Three Lining! Time to stretch my mental faculties and creativity. Thank you, Sonya, of Only 100 Words for this brilliant blogging exercise. I always enjoy writing a poem, a brief tale using an intriguing photo prompt.

For instructions, kindly click here. We’d love sharing our work and meet awesome people in the blogosphere.

Posted in Life

TANKA 34: LOVERS

TANKA34

 

An endangered species…
We both are, we’re as wild as
Animals when turned on
A fierce touch, punishing kiss
A maddening thrust, we’re both bad-ass!

 

A day late for the Weekly TANKA poetry challenge but it’s better than not being able to do it at all. Thank you to KIWINANA of Ramblings of a Writer for coming up with this brilliant blogging activity. Writing poetry never fails to make me feel better.

For instructions, kindly click here.

Posted in Life

Weekly Quotes To Ponder 49

Being a single mother of four and a full-time home-based Appointment Setter, I am so obsessed with my space and alone time. Juggling from taking care of my children, doing household chores and working hard to make both ends meet could be tedious and quite stressful. So if I want to talk consistently to a few people, or to a particular person, they must realize how special they are to me.

As I moved on from a toxic relationship, more than five months ago, I’ve tried online dating. Truth be told, I am new on this platform and I am not really comfortable. But I’ve heard and read stories about successful relationships and figured, there’s no harm in trying.

Thoughts

For a work from home mother, earning online is really a big help. So even simple online tasks like answering a survey, pay-per-click, transcription jobs, etc. creates a stream of income. I’ve met this guy from India on a platform called Telegram. We started a chat then when we became comfortable enough, started to send photos of each other almost every day. I like him and I think he feels the same way. However, given the difference in our location not to mention I am 14 years older, I knew from the start that we cannot have a serious relationship. Well, I am still trying to convince myself how ridiculous I sounded, like ‘ what am I thinking?’ I did not expect anything, I always tell myself but there are times I can’t help but feel a little emotional attachment and I know that it’s not good. For all its worth, I always feel good whenever we chat, more when we exchange photos.

The saddest word in the whole wide world is the word – ALMOST.

One thing I noticed with him, though. He always guards himself, at least that’s my interpretation. For example, I’d asked him once, what am I to him, he would answer me I’m more than a friend but less than a lover. He would always say, we don’t know what the future holds so we might as well enjoy the present moment, make the most of whatever good that’s happening to us. I know his point but sometimes I can’t help but think that this kind of man is scared of commitment. He is someone who prefers to play safe than take risks. We’re poles apart. And it makes me sick at times, yet I can’t completely cut him out. I’m such a mess.

That’s it for our 49th Weekly Quotes To Ponder. I’d be delighted to know your thoughts, please write a comment below. Thank you!

Posted in Life

TANKA 33: At Peace

TANKA33
photo credit

The burst of pure passion,
Seems obscure yet so secure.
Like seasons mending,
Bending until it reaches the peak
Of harmonized nature, gentle and meek.

I’d hate myself if I fail to join this week’s TANKA Poetry. This photo prompt is a quite intriguing scenery coupled with the words – Seasons and Harmonized. Truly, I really need to stretch my mind and use all the imagination I could muster to give justice to my work.

Thank you, my friend-blogger, KIWINANA, of Ramblings of a Writer for coming up with this weekly blogging activity. I always enjoy the experience.

To join the fun, kindly click here. Have a blessed week, everyone!

Posted in Life

3Line Tales 51: Unseen

TLT51
photo by: Sven Scheuermeier

 

Boxed since time immemorial
Their eyes fixated on me…
Yet, the real me, they failed to see.

Here’s my take for this week’s Three Lining activity, people. My mind started to race as soon as I saw the photo prompt, eager to spill the very first idea, and savoring the moment of release.

For instructions, kindly click here. Thank’s to Sonya, of Only 100 Words for this Weekly event.