HOPE

Murky, distant, future – hold still
Steel – Pierced in my heart
An emblem of a strong will!

 

Emblem
Photo by: PMU

 

I enjoyed writing this Three Liner out of an intriguing photo prompt. I am so glad to be able to, in spite of my busy schedule. Thank you, Susi of IWriteHer blog for coming up with this awesome weekly poetry exercise.

For instructions, please click here. Have a wonderful week to all!

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My Monthly Memories: JANUARY 2K19

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Hello people in blog-o-sphere! It’s been awhile now that I haven’t been able to write in my blog. I hate it when I am just doing something for the sake of doing it. I am a kind of person who can do well when I am on fire. This post is in response to a monthly blogging event called #mymonthlymemories hosted by a gorgeous blogger Basant She of The Socially Anxious Extrovert. I’ve been taking part of this since 2016 and I find pleasure in doing so, as always. Nostalgia is but a part of my everyday life. I cannot even remember a day when I did not look back and savor a memory. Hence, I called myself a sentimental fool. You may want to join us, please click this link here.

And oh, the very last entry that I have here in my blog was last October 2016. It is a three-liner entitled ‘Still Waters‘. I nailed down another homebased job as an email customer support for an E-commerce company the same month and I haven’t had the time to write until now. Imagine a single mother of four, having two regular work from home jobs, with dozens of household chores to attend to, surely, time management is but a challenge.  Thank God, with His mercy and grace we are surviving.

I love those random memories that make me smile; 
no matter what’s going on in my life right now.

I don’t have much to look back last January in regards to my blog but I could share a couple of things that happened last month that I believe worth sharing here. First off, I am relieved because the father of my children is connecting with them again. As I have mentioned in one of my posts last year, my love for my children is big enough for me to set aside whatever ill feelings I have for this man. My children’s happiness and welfare is more important than my own.

I am also enjoying the freedom of hoarding books these days. I really cannot resist the urge of buying books that I find interesting. I’m afraid I need another cabinet. Reading is one of my hobbies. It is one way for me to detoxify my mind. Escaping reality at times is not a bad thing, right? If only we could read two books all at the same time, lol.

I could tell that last month is not so great but at least it’s not bad. I look forward to a promising February, though and I can’t wait to share it here. May we all continue to look at things in a positive perspective and hold on to the hope that the best is yet to come.

3Line Tales 56: Still Waters

TLT56
photo by:  Ty Feague

Her laughter, most shallow.
Such incorrigible being
An inconsolable soul…

This is one of the most intriguing and most challenging of photos that I have to stretch my mind a little than normal to give justice to my take. Well, this is some kind of weekly mind exercise for me. Cheers to  Three-Lining! and thank’s to Sonya of Only 100 Words for hosting such a wonderful blogging event.

It has always been a pleasure to partake and read all of my fellow bloggers take on the prompts. To join the fun, kindly click here.

Weekly Quotes To Ponder 52

 

Soul.jpgSolitude is no stranger to me. It has been my constant companion since time immemorial. As soon as I’ve learned how to read (at age 6) I never really rely on others. My mom once shared with my younger siblings (I am the eldest) that even though I am struggling with my homework when I was in grade school, I refused to let them help me or teach me. I’d rather find the answer or solution on my own. I always feel a sense of fulfillment and empowerment whenever I succeed.

And when I was in college, I emanate a dominant aura that other students find intimidating. There were dozens of admirers and detractors alike. I was not bothered by that back then. I have very few friends. That is because I am also straightforward, blunt, brutal at times. I have a very low tolerance for fake people. I could easily smell their stench from afar. I’d rather have one true friend than be with a dozen who are fakes.

DOLL

Too few, if there is any, have an idea that creating an impression of having a strong personality is but some kind of camouflage for me. Truth be told, I don’t want people to see any weakness in me. I don’t want them to use it to their advantage and bring me down. Deep inside, I recognize my fears, my vulnerability as well. I also know that there’s a part of me that longs for someone to be my hero. That there’s someone out there who could see the real me and would rescue me from myself. Someone who could fill the void inside.

It is not the solitude that is killing me softly, don’t misunderstand. I am not selfish nor narcissistic. It is the loneliness, the feelings of being abandoned. The ugly truth, that harsh reality of not having someone who truly cares. I am not being pessimistic either, I am just being real. In the course of my lifetime, I’m afraid it’s very rare to find people who genuinely care for others. Most people’s mentality is that what they can get from the relationship, what is it for them. But this doesn’t stop me from caring. I think it still depends on the individual. If it runs in your blood that you are one caring person, you don’t have to force yourself, it will just show naturally.

How about you? What are your thoughts about this? I’d be glad to read your comments. Thank, God I was able to write my 52nd Weekly Quotes To Ponder post.

3LineTales 55: Wistful

TLT56

 

Thrown away, forgotten.
Forever waiting, panting,
Yearning for you to find my way…

 

Here’s my take for this week’s Three-Lining. I should have done this yesterday but I am preoccupied with a lot of household chores. Thank you, Sonya, of Only 100 Words for this brilliant weekly blogging exercise. For full details, kindly click here.

Time to read and engage with my fellow bloggers.

Weekly Quotes To Ponder 51

It’s time for our 51st Weekly Quotes To Ponder moment. I am officially out of a toxic relationship for about six months now but the feelings of being neglected, cheated and battered were longer that I don’t even want to recall when it all started. It is still haunting me at times. Truly, unrequited love is a vicious killer. Before you know it, it consumed your whole being already. Worst of all, it will leave an ugly scar, a huge hole that nobody could heal, nobody could fill. And yet, life goes on…

43952573_360512001158011_8194729697335050240_n
quoted from Michael Connelly‘s novel – The Scarecrow

 

In my desperate move to keep my momentum on this new found freedom, I tried an online dating site called FilipinoCupid.com. Being a home-based online worker, I am aware that there’s a big possibility that I might be inviting ferocious wolves the chance to devour me. As I chatted to a few men, I am not mistaken by my suspicion. Almost all of them want to jump right into sex like it is something that might disappear in a blink of an eye. They demand sexy photos and a few of them even asked for nudity or worse, video sex. I am new to these things and my first reaction is I want to puke. My stomach was in knots, my breathing coming shallow. I even had 6 cups of coffee compared to my usual 2-3 cups a day (coffee never frays my nerves, by the way, on the contrary, it soothes them). To make the long story short, I can’t handle it so I decided to give up and deactivated my account.

Truth be told, I still long for intoxication.  That inexplicable feeling, the highs of being touched by another soul. And hell, patience is one of my pet peeves. I’m dying to have a romantic partner. I am just like most people, I am just so eager to give and to have my tender passion reciprocated. It really sounds so simple, so easy, so right and yet so rare, almost elusive.

What are your thoughts on the quote above? Do you believe in that Single-Bullet Theory? At one point in my life, I thought I already found mine but judging from what happened to my previous relationship (father of my children) I have doubts now. Maybe someday, somehow, mine is still out there. Hopefully, we’ll find each other soon. It would be the best moment, I’m sure.

 

 

 

 

 

3Line Tales 54: Holding On

TLT55
photo by: Joey Nicotra

 

Tainted, trampled to the ground.
In the dungeon, reaching out,
Faint-hearted yet holding tight.

 

Here’s my take for this week’s Three Line Tale. Thank’s to Sonya of Only 100 Words for coming up with this brilliant blogging exercise. This photo prompts suits my mood these days – colorful, intriguing, and mysterious.

Want to dive in and have some fun? Click here for instructions. May we all have a wonderful day!

TANKA 35: SERENITY

TANKA35
photo credit

 

Sunset brings peace and quiet.
Clears an erratic mind, declutters emotional debris
Weary soul, burdened heart.
A fascinating theme – myriad blinding colors,
Calmness in the air warms me inside.

 

I will never forget and I said to myself, I am going to do this Weekly TANKA poetry challenge hosted by my friend, KIWINANA of Ramblings of a Writer and I couldn’t be happier today!

I hope my take would bring positivity to everyone who might encounter my blog. To join this wonderful blogging activity, kindly click here.

Weekly Quotes To Ponder 50

He used to tell me, I am an irresponsible mother and housekeeper because the house is oftentimes messy if not always. At times, the pile of clothes to be folded had been sitting on the sofa for three days, and the dishes would be waiting the whole day before I could even wash them. But what upsets him most is the fact that I don’t make notes let alone follow a timeline for the day to at least try to be as organized as possible. Sometimes I can’t help but wonder, maybe these things might be one of the reasons why his fondness of me have waned as the years gone by.

PHOOOT.png

I know, I am not a wife or even a mother material. I haven’t seen this coming when I was still single. Until now, I still find it hard to believe or convince myself that I am stuck to being a single mother. Single mother – yes! You’ve read it right. The father of my children decided to abandon us for his own good. I wonder how he’s able to sleep at night knowing that he strips off his children of their rights. I won’t deny that I badly needed financial support from him but I am more concerned about emotional support (I don’t care if he would buy this) like some kind of a father-children relationship. I don’t know if I am overreacting. I always try not to sensationalize or overthink, I understand that worrying won’t do me any good. And as far as I know (based on my own observation), my children seem not to give a damn or make a fuss about our present situation. Maybe because the change has been gradual. It all started from us living under the same roof but acting more like roommates rather than husband and wife. The memory of our arguments those days are so vivid I could always tell that the man acted like I am some kind of enemy to be annihilated rather than a partner to be given a chance to amend for a wrongdoing. He could deny this but that’s how he made me feel back then.

I would be lying if I say that I am completely free and happy without him in our lives but I could certainly and could even shout out to the world, that I am totally at peace these days. The emotional burden that I’ve carried for years when I was with him, the psychological torture that rendered me immobile has been lifted as soon as he decided to let go of me. I can’t thank God enough.

Reversible
quotedReversible Error by Scott Turow

I used to believe that he is my compass. That if I lose him, I would lose my sense of direction, my reason for living. When I think about it these days, I am having mixed emotions. I might have been a fool or something but I know and I strongly believe that I had been in love. People say that love is blind, it’s not. It’s the lovers, not the love. Love is uncaring in a way that there are no requirements or standards, wouldn’t you agree? I guess people are just hopeful searchers, eager to give, eager to have their tender passion reciprocated. They just wanted to love and be loved in return. This sounds so simple. So right. But so melancholic in its purest form because of its rarity.

That’s it for our 50th Weekly Quotes To Ponder. What are your thoughts about the quote from the novel? Have you experienced that feeling at one point in your life? The longing, the unnamed desire? I’d be glad to read your comments.

 

3Line Tales 53: Battered

TLT54

 

Devoid of trust,
Treated like a trash
Exit if you must!

 

Cheers to another week of Three Lining! Time to stretch my mental faculties and creativity. Thank you, Sonya, of Only 100 Words for this brilliant blogging exercise. I always enjoy writing a poem, a brief tale using an intriguing photo prompt.

For instructions, kindly click here. We’d love sharing our work and meet awesome people in the blogosphere.