Posted in Life

3Line Tales 51: Unseen

TLT51
photo by: Sven Scheuermeier

 

Boxed since time immemorial
Their eyes fixated on me…
Yet, the real me, they failed to see.

Here’s my take for this week’s Three Lining activity, people. My mind started to race as soon as I saw the photo prompt, eager to spill the very first idea, and savoring the moment of release.

For instructions, kindly click here. Thank’s to Sonya, of Only 100 Words for this Weekly event.

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Posted in Life

TANKA 32: FACADE

Cheers to another week of TANKA poetry. I haven’t been able to write yesterday because my internet has been restricted due to late payment. Thank God, it’s back.

This is hosted by a friend-blogger, KIWINANA of Ramblings of a Writer. For, instructions, kindly click here. Enjoy!

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As she sauntered by,
An aura so brisk emanated the room.
But no other soul knew,
Feelings that simmers beneath the surface,
That invisible shield, her means to heal

Posted in Life

3Line Tales 50: CREEPY

TLT50.jpg
photo by: Nathan Wright

Bittersweet memories emanate the whole house.
Smells of rotten, abandoned things, linger…
Echoes of footsteps, an air of terror I can’t keep.

Here’s my take for this week’s Three Line Tales. I find this photo prompt interesting that it gives me more than one scenario in mind. Thank’s to SONYA of Only 100 Words for coming up with this Weekly blogging exercise.

For detailed instructions, kindly click here. Have an awesome day to us all!

 

 

Posted in Life

TANKA 31: RICH

He will beg no more!
What a fleeting fancy, he thought.
His poverty is skin-deep.
Gifted with music, he could lull…
Hearts and minds that money can’t buy.

 

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photo credit

 

Cheers to another week of TANKA Poetry! This is another way to divert my thoughts from reality and give myself a break from everyday troubles. Hope you’ll find my entry acceptable and enjoyable.

You may want to dive in and feel the joy of writing and reading a TANKA. For instructions, click here. This is hosted by a friend blogger – KIWINANA of Ramblings of a Writer. Have a wonderful week, everyone!

Posted in Life

Note To Self

Time check, 5:23 AM, September 10, 2018, a Monday. I’m now officially 38 years old, whoa! I got off bed around 11:30 PM last night feeling refreshed after four hours of uninterrupted sleep, whew! That’s a relief, for I rarely had the luxury of sleep for several weeks now and it clearly shows in my eyebags.

CUTIE

I found myself cleaning the living room, again. Then faced a ton of clothes that I need to fold and put in the closet. It feels like this day is just another ordinary day in the life of a work-from-home mother of four. I checked my mobile phone in between chores, chatted with few friends every once in a while. Being a single parent taught me a great deal about multi-tasking, self-reliance, resourcefulness, and time management. I am more than grateful to God Almighty for all these.

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I don’t make a fuss on my birthday but I must admit that it feels great to be on a spotlight even once a year. I miss getting a present and a surprise especially from someone to whom I share a mutual affection. In short, I miss having a love life. Oh my, I am now in the la la land. I feel light. I feel like I’m floating.

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I’ve been totally out of a toxic relationship for barely four months now but the feeling of not having someone who loves me romantically have been my constant companion in the last 12 years. I’ve lived under one roof with a man who chose to harbor a grudge over some petty mistake I’ve done in the past in order for him to justify all the unpleasant things that he does to me. While I am stupid enough to punish myself for that mistake, years went by so fast, I forgot how it feels like to be genuinely happy. I still yearn for intoxication, a stare that could pierce my heart, melt the bones in my body, makes me forget all the troubles in this world, and be in seventh heaven once again. I am such a hopeless romantic. I’d like to think that I am one passionate person.

When I love a man, I gave my all. I have no reservations. I take that person completely – flaws and all. I don’t give a damn about his background. The only reason why I would want to learn about his past is for me to understand how he needed to be loved. And in return, I expect that person to do the same. I don’t think this is too much to ask but in the course of my lifetime, it seems like people who have this kind of attitude is one in a million. And after all these years, I thought I’ve found that man. Maybe…

I bare my soul again and it feels great. I hope I could make others feel better once they come across this post. There are so many shits in this life, so many critics that I chose to be an encourager instead. May God bless us all!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Blogging, Life, Quotes

Weekly Quotes To Ponder 48

I just woke up from a two-hour nap. Feeling refreshed at last! This post is a day late I know, but like I always say, ‘better late than never’. I am grateful that despite the difficulties that I am going through these days, I could still find time to write in my blog. This would be my 48th Weekly Quotes To Ponder post.

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I’ve been working as a home-based Appointment Setter for about 9 months now. The company is based in CA, USA. I highly recommend working from home to my family, relatives, and friends who have young children to look after. Even when I am still working office-based, I hate the everyday commute not to mention the need to wake up 3 hours before leaving the house to take a bath, eat, and dress up.

Sincere feelings transcend time and connect hearts…

I guess I made a long introduction there. I’ve crossed path with a few work-from-home mothers who share the same passion and we hit it off big time. It’s amazing how friendship could develop virtually these days but of course, nothing beats a face to face interaction, a moment where you could see the person in flesh. I had these two colleagues at work that I considered as my sisters from a different parent. We had a plan to meet each other this month, We’re more than excited.

DEATH

Truth be told, I am still having a hard time convincing myself, even as of this writing that one of them was gone (she died from cardiac arrest three days ago). Life is really unpredictable and death spares no one. I still grieve for the loss of a good friend. But nothing compares to the pain and devastation that her children and husband is feeling these days. At times like these, it makes me realize how important it is for us to live life to the fullest, that we should always make the most of every moment we spend with the people we care most. We should always express how much we care about them every chance we get because we’ll never know what will happen next.

What is your take on the quote above? Do you believe that there exists a death that is not physical? That even though people may look alive they are actually dying inside? I intend to explore this quote today, however, my hands are full, so I decided to continue this next week. But I welcome all your thoughts and comments with open arms.

Have a good one!

 

 

Posted in Life

TANKA 30: CLARITY

tanka30
photo credit

 

Vastness before my eyes
Cold air, sea waves touching my feet
Holding the sands of time
Hope in its purest form I’ve found
Observing, salty air fills my lungs
As obscurity suddenly left my side…

 

I now have ample time to write on my blog. Thank, God for this opportunity to join a Weekly blogging activity called TANKA poetry challenge. This is hosted by a wonderful friend-blogger, KIWINANA of Ramblings of a Writer.

For instructions, kindly click here. Hope you’d enjoy reading my entry as much as I enjoyed writing it. The photo prompt this week meets my mood at the moment – calm and collected. Have a nice one!

 

Posted in Life

The Cross I Bear

I am staring blankly in front of my desktop for almost about two hours now. I am preoccupied with a lot of things these past few days, feelings I really want to get out of my chest but unable to convey in words. I cannot say that this is a writer’s block. It’s more like trying to do something you are really dying to do but your body won’t cooperate.

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I have been in a toxic relationship for more than 12 years. I must say that I am partly blamed for what happened. It almost becomes natural for most people to point fingers on another human being for all their unhappiness and failures but not me. I always look at both sides of the coin. With this being said, you’d have an idea why I lasted that long before I decided to let go and move forward.

For years, I’ve been scared to death. No, it’s actually an understatement. The pain I’ve felt from being taken for granted, from all betrayals, and few physical fits of abuse from that man are more than excruciating, it won’t render me numb.  His abusive words served as my greetings before I even start my day. I fought back every once in a while but I grew tired of all the dramas and decided to just take it like a pill I need to swallow no matter how bitter it may be.

‘When someone changes for the better, let them.
Give them room to be a new version of themselves without holding their past against them.’ – quoted

I believe it’s not too much to admit that I am partly blamed for all the unpleasant treatments that I received. But sometimes, I can’t help but wonder…haven’t I’ve had enough? Do I really need to suffer the consequences of a few mistakes or wrong that I did him in the past for the rest of my life? I’ve tried to make amends, did everything I could to show him how sorry I am. But the man is a resentment-filled brute. He’d rather harbor a grudge than forgive and forget. For in that way, he could always justify all of his wrongdoings. Having a scapegoat haven’t been that easier, huh.

I must give credit to him, though. He’d been a satisfactory provider if not excellent until he stopped sending financial support barely three months ago. Truly, hatred could wipe away all the affections in someone’s heart. I can take if he curses me for the rest of his life but I bleed for our children. They don’t deserve this. My two daughters – ages 16 and 12, they chose to be silent, or more appropriate to say, ignore what’s happening, but I know better. The younger children, two boys – ages 9 and 4, well, they’re too young to understand. There are occasions that I attempted to talk about what’s happening between me and their father, but they’d just brush it aside like it’s not really important. I felt frustrated at times but chose to let things be for now. I understand them, everybody is entitled to whatever coping mechanism they have and I’m not one to deny it to them. However, this realization didn’t diminish the fact that we’ve hurt our children more than we could imagine. And I’ve never felt so damn selfish and irresponsible in my life.

Your child is what will keep you holding on
when everything else is falling apart…

I have no doubt with how much our children love their father. It’s just that they have a different way to show it or I must say they’re not that expressive. Like when he calls us through Skype, they seldom talk – too shy to say something. But when their dad is not there anymore, they’d say sweet things about him, even reminisce all those wonderful memories they shared. I know how painful it must be for him not to be able to hear his children’s voice let alone be taken for granted by the people he loves most. But what can I do? I mean, I tried to encourage the children, it’s just that it’s not their kind of thing. It’s not my fault that they’re not that expressive. I just hope that their father will come to his senses and accept the fact that even though we cannot be on good terms with each other anymore, he could still be part of his children’s life if he wants to.

I refuse to hate the man for it won’t do me any good. Besides, I don’t know what he’s been going through on the other side of the world these days. I know it would be hard for him to believe that I am open to any type of communication he could afford to get in touch with his children. I cannot blame him if he’d think that the reason I want it is due to financial support. Well, it’s true. But not the main reason. I care greatly for my children that I am more than willing to set aside my pride for their sake. As a mother, I always find pleasure and peace of mind seeing my children, happy, content, and living a good life.

 

 

 

Posted in Life

Weekly Quotes To Ponder 47

 

HONESTY

I find delight in reading quotes, pondering about it, and sharing my thoughts with others. In today’s ‘dog eat dog world’, it’s a rarity to find people who are raw and would show you how vulnerable they are. Most humans are too busy putting on a show, acting like they are better than everyone. Too few people are aware that honesty is attractive.

This would be the 47th Weekly Quotes To Ponder post in my blog. The original schedule is every Wednesday of the week, however, due to circumstances beyond my control (single mother now, four children to attend to and a full-time work from home job), there are times that I wasn’t able to write on the very day. Please bear with me.

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Going back to the quote above…

For me, life need not be so complicated. Even answers to most of life’s questions could be a simple Yes or No. I’d rather you tell me what it is upfront and give me the option to take it or leave it, than beat around the bush, and confuse us both in the end. Wouldn’t it be great if we are free to express what we really are without the fear of rejection? I would even appreciate it more if others would show me how their day sucks so that I would have an opportunity to make it better for them. I am sick of all the show, the disguise, and the hero acts. If you are in my life, I want you to be in your own skin. No need to fake a smile on my behalf, no need to pretend just to please me. At the end of the day, the people who are meant to be with us will stay, no matter what.

What do you think? I’d appreciate your thoughts on this. have a blessed week, everyone!

 

 

Posted in Life

3Line Tales 49: Thesis

I won’t let this day pass without joining Three Line Tales. This is one of my favorites when it comes to writing a poem – telling a brief tale out of an intriguing photo prompt. Thank you, Sonya, of Only 100 Words for coming up with such a brilliant Weekly Blogging Exercise.

 

Tight fingers, head spinning,
Sight, a little blurry
Research isn’t my kinda thing.

 

TLT49
photo by: Davide Cantelli

 

Here’s my take for this week. If you want to join the fun, kindly click here for detailed instructions. Have a wonderful week to us all!